5 Phrases That Will Make a Project Team Resent You
(and what to say instead)
Do you ever feel like your team just doesn't "get it"?
Like no matter what you say, your morning stand-up feels awkward, and a tumbleweed emoji could float past at any point?
I'll let you in on a secret: It's not them, it's YOU.
It's the things you're saying (or not saying) that are driving the silence or creating a grimace on their faces. As a PM, your words carry weight. One careless comment can crush motivation faster than you can say "we need to work late."
Let's talk about 5 negative phrases you need to ELIMINATE from your vocab, right now.
Quick side note: This not only applies to your internal team, but to your client conversations as well.
No.1 - "That's not in scope"
Why it's toxic: Talk about a creativity killer. This phrase screams a lack of flexibility and "I'm not willing to problem-solve." It makes you seem rigid and unhelpful.
Although as a PM you do have to control the project scope, there are ways and means of doing it, without sounding like a head teacher reporting this quarter's school attendance numbers back to Ofsted.
What to say instead: "Okay, this is a new request. Let's look at how it impacts our timeline and resources, then brainstorm the best solution together. I'm open to adjusting scope if it makes sense, but let’s agree on a plan that works for everyone"
No.2 - "We can't do it in time"
Why it's toxic: Way to deflate people before they even start! This defeatist attitude zaps energy and implies you don't trust their abilities. Not cool.
What to say instead: "I know this turnaround is insanely tight. But let’s break it down and figure out how to divide and conquer. I’ll see if we can get extra resource, or maybe skip a round of amends if approvals are looking straight forward"
No.3 - "Just put together a brief"
Why it's toxic: This is a classic phrase from Project Managers who haven’t received the right information at the right time, and in not enough detail.
I have news for you.
Most of the time, when it comes to complex digital projects people don’t know what information you need - just assume that’s the case, 99% of the time and anything else will be enlightening.
What to say instead: "Let's get together and collaborate on a solid brief. I'll ask the right questions, but I'm counting on your expertise to help flesh out the details. When’s a good time to align?"
Then recruit the right people from your agency to help out if you need them.
No.4 -"It's not my fault"
Why it's toxic: Playing the blame game? Not a good look. As PM, everything comes back to you, even if you didn't directly drop the ball. Just assume you are responsible for everything.
What to say instead: "You're absolutely right, we shouldn't be catching this issue so late. That's on me. Let's figure out a solution, then recap in our project wash-up to update our process and make sure we catch things like this sooner”
No.5 - "I don't have time for this right now"
Why it's toxic: You are always going to be busy with a never ending to-do list. It’s a core PM skill to prioritise your own and your team's workload.
And how many times has an Account Director rocked up and told you a new project has come in, and they need a quote by Thursday?
What to say instead: "Sure, I can help out. I'm tied up with [X] right now, but how about I pop some time in your diary later on, and we can figure out a plan?
Stay positive
Words matter. HUGELY. As a PM, every phrase you say can build up your team's confidence...or tear it down in seconds. Choose your words carefully and your team will think of you highly and your projects will be even more successful.
I’ll finish with a great book recommendation (not an affiliate link):
Emotional Intelligence 2.0: A Practical Guide to Master your Emotions. By Theresa Williams
It’s a quick read to help you develop your emotional intelligence - super useful both in AND outside of work.
You might also like:
Master Your Communication Style. 5 Tips to Build Trust, Drive Results, and Lead Effectively
3 Winning Habits for Digital Project Managers to help you own the day
Grab more useful articles, resources and GPTs on my Substack:
